I was on top of the world yesterday, feeling great, feeling like I had this thing conquered. I resisted Cherry Pie, Baked Mac n Cheese, COFFEE....I didn't even desire to eat them.
And then I woke up this morning. I not only did not WANT to get out of bed, I felt like it was impossible. I Was angry, anxious in my soul, unable to pray, unable to read God's word...and the "F" word began taunting me. Failure.
With head pounding, emotions raising, anger building....I could only ask God for help. So, what was going on? Sin. Sin in my heart, towards my husband. Feelings of entitlement had taken over the heart after God. Feelings of discontent had replaced a heart that wanted to stomp out the flesh. And when I say, "taken over" and "Replaced", I mean there was no fight left in me to even want to do what is right.
How do you repent for sin when you enjoy your anger, when your anger and feelings are bigger? I had to pray, I am still praying. "Lord, you have to take this. It is too big for me. I don't even have a desire for repenting, but I want to have the desire, I know I do, somewhere. God save me from myself and help me. Wash me and cleanse me from sin and unrighteousness."
Life is all fun and games until we begin to see our sin. Then it is hard. We are proud. We are entitled...aren't we? No, not really. We stammer on our rights and hold fast to what we 'deserve'. But there is only one thing that we deserve.
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Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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Romans 3:23
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
So, Lord, when you say ALL, do you mean ALL, ALL?
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Romans 3:23
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
Who am I to be angry with any man? Who am I to blame my sin on another? Can I blame it on my children? PMS? Fatigue? No. This is a road block on the path of stomping out the flesh...sin bumps up when we are cruising along just fine and rears us up and jolts us sideways. But that bump, it has MY name on it, not anyone else's. So what does this have to do with health and eating properly? EVERYTHING!
My friend, Alicia, is writing a book about Superheroe's, "School for Superhero's". How do we become ordinary people that accomplish extraordinary things? Through God's grace first of all, and through the discipline's that this life requires. Discipline's that require us to stomp on our flesh. If I were a superhero, my Kryptonite (the mineral that took away Superman's powers) would be "Entitlement".
I realized today, that, THAT one sin is what has caused me to fail EVERY TIME before. I feel hurt, I stew in those feelings, I grow angry, my flesh takes over, depression seeps in....and VOILA, I am eating a box of brownie batter! So, my friend, what IS your Kryptonite? What is the sin pattern that leads up to you giving in and giving up? Pray for wisdom, pray for strength. Pray that when the cover is lifted from the Kryptonite and you feel or are rendered powerless, that you will have the strength to give in to failure and quitting.
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Romans 8:37
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
The secret is, we are powerless....but, the one who holds our lives in His hands is not. Draw from Him.
Matthew 26:41
Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
"Watch", be ready, with a plan, for when your flesh is weak. Not IF it happens, WHEN it happens....decide now what you will do when you are ready to give up.
Galatians 4:9
But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?
The 'world' says to us, "You can do whatever you want." "There is always tomorrow to do the right thing". "Well, I had a rough day, I have earned indulgence.". My friend, if we are in a battle against the flesh, then we must not let down defenses that will drag us back to our former place of being drug along by our desires. We are dying to those desires....that we might truly live and have our full freedom in Christ.
ROMANS 8:1-11 "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
9 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you."
If I can do it, you can do it!
Love,
Molly
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